Lone Daisy

Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong.  I worry about my looks, what I’m wearing, my teeth, my hair… the list goes on and on.  The point is that I have this battle with myself about not fitting in; not that I don’t, I have plenty of friends, but I still worry about being different.

It makes me wonder how many other people think like this.  My sociology background tells me that plenty of you do and you do what you can to fit in.  Each of you have something different that’s not “normal” with society and you hide it – you judge yourself on it, you hate yourself for it, you think about it daily.  You want to fit in and you don’t want to show that difference.

Does a special needs child feel that way?

Of course they do, plus more.

I know that Max has gone through so much more than me at such a young age.  I was never in and out of doctors offices being examined for this and that.  I was never told “There’s something wrong with you.”  I was never looked at like I didn’t matter because I couldn’t talk.  I never sat in a doctor’s office at the age of 12 and told, “It may be your heart failing, or it may be seizures, but we’ll figure it out.”

He’s so strong; I love him for that and he teaches me so many things with his strength.